A funny thing happened on the Road to Emerson Park
Blaine High School: Track, Theater, and Journalism
In High School I basically kept a 3.75 GPA in all Honors classes, ran track and field for Blaine and also Competed in the AAU for the Spartans. That was when Bruce Jenner won the Decathalon in the Olympics. He was a huge hero of mine until I met him when I ushered at the Guthrie Theater in Mpls. I doubt very much if Caitlyn is very happy.
I was in every Musical that Blaine High School put on. Ken Knudson was a very good comedic director and he always cast me in a comic character acting role (of course I wanted to do leads).
During college at the University of Minnesota I had the opportunity to take Character Acting Classes at the Guthrie Theater with people who are now all famous movie actors now like Peter MacNicol and Peter Michael Getz.
I was in every Musical that Blaine High School put on. Ken Knudson was a very good comedic director and he always cast me in a comic character acting role (of course I wanted to do leads).
During college at the University of Minnesota I had the opportunity to take Character Acting Classes at the Guthrie Theater with people who are now all famous movie actors now like Peter MacNicol and Peter Michael Getz.
Greggo's Gripes: High School Newspaper Humor Column
Working as a Non-Union Professional Actor
Some shows I wrote, directed, and produced
MEIN Kampf: My struggle with Satan's Sister
Press Clippings: From when we did lots of Television and Press Releases
Humor Blog: (Stardate 12092009)
To make a very long story short (for the purposes of an introduction), I started writing this humor blog in December of 2009. I had met and married a lovely lady that took my custody problems seriously and believed me when I said Satan’s Sister was a monster. In fact, my wife Lori is the one who figured out that my ex has a personality disorder (or several). Of course, she had two kids and I had three, so now there were five kids in a family of seven.
Satan's Sister goes to War on me
Ten years with no justice from Tavarese
One time I sat in court and listened to my ex lie to the judge about me and caught myself thinking,“That guy should be locked up…wait that’s me, and none of it is true!” She tried her best to get me locked up for something stupid. It never worked because I learned to never trust her when she’s being nice. That way I always saw the new attack coming.
But, I digress
Working the local Stand Up Circuit in Orlando
I did sets at every place that would let me from The Other Bar on Church Street, Austin Coffee House in Winter Park, The Social downtown, the PourHouse in Metro West, the WhyNot Lounge in Altamonte Springs, Holly and Dolly's in Longwood, Red something in Casselberry, a little dive in Apopka, and Bonkers in Ocala...just to name a few. I basically went to open mic nights all over town and put in appearances at various clubs on Friday and Saturday nights.
One time David and I were standing by the busy cash registers in Target while Michelle played hide and seek in the racks and my ex wife tried to find her. It was very amusing to us, so I told him a Viagra joke my Dad had just told me over the phone. He laughed, and then in a really loud voice Michelle (who had been hiding behind me) said, "Daddy. What's VIAGRA?" Everyone within ear shot came to a stand still and you could hear a pin drop. I felt like I was in an EF Hutton commercial, you know...EVERYONE listens to EF Hutton!
I realized immediately that Michelle (the little devil) had trapped me into trying to answer a very politically incorrect question in public...again. Thinking quickly I said, "I don't know Honey. (then turning to the crowd) Do you guys know what Viagra is?!?" Everyone went back about their business. I'm telling you. That girl is comedy gold. Thank you for that Michelle. I expect her to be an Artist/Character Actor/Stand Up Comic when she gets older. I taught her imrov games at a very young age.
I realized immediately that Michelle (the little devil) had trapped me into trying to answer a very politically incorrect question in public...again. Thinking quickly I said, "I don't know Honey. (then turning to the crowd) Do you guys know what Viagra is?!?" Everyone went back about their business. I'm telling you. That girl is comedy gold. Thank you for that Michelle. I expect her to be an Artist/Character Actor/Stand Up Comic when she gets older. I taught her imrov games at a very young age.
Comedy Magic show at Murphy's Pub on International Drive
The Comic Improv at the WhyNot Lounge in Altamonte Springs
At the Disney Reservation Center
At the Disney Reservation Center I eventually landed in the ecommerce department. I was one of a handful of people who midwifed the Magic Band rollout. I manned the Internet Help Desk, chatted with guests on the new website, and answered email questions from guests.
We worked mandatory overtime for the first year and a half and had anywhere from 80 to 120 people waiting to yell at us at any given time from open to close. After a while it became all about wether you could get, or how you might get Anna and Elsa or 7 Dwarfs Mine Train Ride fastpasses. I became an expert on the Disney Fastpass+ system and all it's quirks and how to get around it to get what you want. I knew exactly how many days out you could get fastpasses for any given ride.
To give you an idea, Anna and Elsa fastpasses+ disappeared generally 45 days prior to a vacation date within 5 minutes of being available (they went to guests with a 14 day stay who got 30 days prior plus their length of stay. 7 Dwarfs mine Train fastpasses generally were available until 25 to 30 days out. If you called me to get one of those two fastpasses the day of your trip to Magic Kingdom you would have to wait while I had a good laugh and recovered my composure.
I had a ‘nervous breakdown’ at Disney about a year into it. I had just been stabbed in the back by my ‘friends’ in an HR investigation that assured there would be no leadership position in my future.
My Dad had just died, my oldest daughter Rebecca hadn’t spoken to me in a year, and my youngest child Michelle I hadn’t seen or spoken too for the same year.
I cried at my desk every day and tried to talk on the phone. A Leader took me aside and told me in no uncertain terms to get some help. I cycled through three or four therapists. I quit the last one during the Obama election because the last three sessions she just lectured me on how dangerous he was. You know, Standard Republican Party Propaganda that I could get from my mom for free.
At the Disney Reservation Center I eventually landed in the ecommerce department. I was one of a handful of people who midwifed the Magic Band rollout. I manned the Internet Help Desk, chatted with guests on the new website, and answered email questions from guests. | We worked mandatory overtime for the first year and a half and had anywhere from 80 to 120 people waiting to yell at us at any given time from open to close. After a while it became all about wether you could get, or how you might get Anna and Elsa or 7 Dwarfs Mine Train Ride fastpasses. I became an expert on the Disney Fastpass+ system and all it's quirks and how to get around it to get what you want. I knew exactly how many days out you could get fastpasses for any given ride. | To give you an idea, Anna and Elsa fastpasses+ disappeared generally 45 days prior to a vacation date within 5 minutes of being available (they went to guests with a 14 day stay who got 30 days prior plus their length of stay. 7 Dwarfs mine Train fastpasses generally were available until 25 to 30 days out. If you called me to get one of those two fastpasses the day of your trip to Magic Kingdom you would have to wait while I had a good laugh and recovered my composure. |
I had a ‘nervous breakdown’ at Disney about a year into it. I had just been stabbed in the back by my ‘friends’ in an HR investigation that assured there would be no leadership position in my future.
My Dad had just died, my oldest daughter Rebecca hadn’t spoken to me in a year, and my youngest child Michelle I hadn’t seen or spoken too for the same year. |
I cried at my desk every day and tried to talk on the phone. A Leader took me aside and told me in no uncertain terms to get some help. I cycled through three or four therapists. I quit the last one during the Obama election because the last three sessions she just lectured me on how dangerous he was. You know, Standard Republican Party Propaganda that I could get from my mom for free.
|
Anthony De Mello
Luckily a co worker at Disney, a short fat balding gay man, gave me a book and CD that changed my life. I was crying at my desk one day and mentioned that I was struggling with depression. He said, “Really, your depressed?” I wanted to say, “No, I sit here and cry for attention you idiot!” He turned me on to Anthony De Mello and I still listen to his CD every day in the car.
|
It has made my life better. Much better. I have learned to take what happens more stoically, and to not let other people control my happiness. I need to be in control of that. |
Change Happens
As I sit now, in my big 6 bedroom house, in my new office, at my new desk, at the helm of my new business, I reflect with joy that all three of my biological children eventually came to live here with me. And the two girls are already helping with Daddy’s little business.
I know, it’s a lot to cover. But here is how it all started… |
I basically conned her into coming over to my dumpy apartment so I could
cook tacos for her. The problem was that I had spent my last dime on that meal,
and had no money to go to the restaurant. To make a long story short, she saved my life
because at that time I was working two jobs and paying 95% of it in child support (illegal I
know, but Satan's Sister had a good lawyer - which of course she never paid).
cook tacos for her. The problem was that I had spent my last dime on that meal,
and had no money to go to the restaurant. To make a long story short, she saved my life
because at that time I was working two jobs and paying 95% of it in child support (illegal I
know, but Satan's Sister had a good lawyer - which of course she never paid).
I literally kept a noose on my porch to hang myself at a moments notice.
I nearly used it one night, and didn't because of a small note my daughter Michelle (now 15)
stuck to my dingy apartment wall. It just said "I love you Daddy."
After that night I took the noose down, resolved to live just because
my daughter needed me, and I started dating Lori. We were married in the historic white church in Altamonte Springs with all five kids present in 2009 (The year I started blogging). It was time to build a family out of the broken pieces of my life. I was coming up from below rock bottom.
Michelle did in fact need me after she started cutting herself (living with
Satan's Sister makes you want to kill yourself). Michelle came to live
with us on Thanksgiving day of last year (2014) and boy was I thankful!
She was committed to an Acute Care facility (if you don't know what that is,
it's the locked hotel with no shoelaces), then released to a Partial
Hospitalization facility. I got in her face and worked with her day in and
day out to get her mental health back. At the time of this writing she is
at home with us, no longer on suicide watch, and going to summer school
for Algebra I. Next year she will be a sophmore in high school, and she
has joined the drill team for ROTC. Her grades aren't that great, and she
failed a whole year of chool. She'll bounce back next year, I'm sure of it.
it's the locked hotel with no shoelaces), then released to a Partial
Hospitalization facility. I got in her face and worked with her day in and
day out to get her mental health back. At the time of this writing she is
at home with us, no longer on suicide watch, and going to summer school
for Algebra I. Next year she will be a sophmore in high school, and she
has joined the drill team for ROTC. Her grades aren't that great, and she
failed a whole year of chool. She'll bounce back next year, I'm sure of it.
I am very grateful that I saw that little note in the dark as I was on my way
to end my life. I'm glad I got to be here to return the favor and save her life.
She's a great kid, a lot like me, and she's doing great now.
to end my life. I'm glad I got to be here to return the favor and save her life.
She's a great kid, a lot like me, and she's doing great now.
So, lets take you back to December of 2009. We were living in
Lori's house and we had just gotten married. For the first time we
had five kids and we started going about building a family.
I was out of work again, so I started blogging about my daily life.
I went from being homeless, lonely, and suicidal, to having a great
wife and five wonderful kids. It was a heck of a journey for all of us.
It was a tough road filled with tears, lots of shouting, and anger against
the system that almost crushed us. I credit my lovely wife for getting us
through it. Without her steady hand on the till, and my kids suddenly
coming around, I would have surely died. So, I pretty mush owe it all to
her.
God bless her for saving my life, and one day I hope to make enough
money so that she can retire and we'd like to sail around the world for
a few years (she's been working 2 and 3 jobs this whole time).
I went from being homeless, lonely, and suicidal, to having a great
wife and five wonderful kids. It was a heck of a journey for all of us.
It was a tough road filled with tears, lots of shouting, and anger against
the system that almost crushed us. I credit my lovely wife for getting us
through it. Without her steady hand on the till, and my kids suddenly
coming around, I would have surely died. So, I pretty mush owe it all to
her.
Today, I own a brand spankin' new 6 bedroom house in Emerson Park,
and I am starting a new business working from home. Lori is also
working from home and now we get to be together all day long.
and I am starting a new business working from home. Lori is also
working from home and now we get to be together all day long.
money so that she can retire and we'd like to sail around the world for
a few years (she's been working 2 and 3 jobs this whole time).
Oh, and our house is being appraised today for the refinance at a lower
interest rate (VA loan). The one just like ours around the corner just sold
for $275,000 (We paid $215,000). I believe it will reach $400,000 in the
next few years, at which point I want to get my wife a small farm with
interest rate (VA loan). The one just like ours around the corner just sold
for $275,000 (We paid $215,000). I believe it will reach $400,000 in the
next few years, at which point I want to get my wife a small farm with
horses and a 35 ft sailboat with the extra equity. Sounds like another
blog, doesn't it? I'll let you know how that turns out.
blog, doesn't it? I'll let you know how that turns out.
"Apopka: Life in the Fertile Crescent" at:
fertilecrescentrealestate.blogspot.com
http://fertilecrescentrealestate.blogspot.com/2015/06/population-growth-in-orlando-and-urban.html
fertilecrescentrealestate.blogspot.com
http://fertilecrescentrealestate.blogspot.com/2015/06/population-growth-in-orlando-and-urban.html