The simple joys of being poor

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 1, 2009

You Rich People just don't get it.  There are primitive simple joys to being without money that you just could not appreciate...After my divorce in 2005 my wife and her lawyer conspired to take %95 of my income, and in 2006 I literally lived on $2000 for a whole year. Believe me, I was painfully poor... First let me define what I mean by Rich...if you have gasoline to get back and forth to work...your wealthy...if you have a roof over your head, and food on the table each night...your Rich! Hell, in my world if you can afford that table to put the food on...your wealthy beyond my wildest dreams...now, on to the joys of being poor... The first time you get the water turned back on....and you feel that hot shower....after like three weeks...ahhhhh...and you let it wash over you, and think, "If I could only afford soap!" Or, that first can of re-fried beans that you scrimped and saved for...after three weeks with no food...it is a delight!! I used to put used birthday candles in it to celebrate...Or, Having the HEAT turned back on in the winter...or, my personal favorite...AIR CONDITIONING during the Florida summer....oh, the simple joys! I once had a hot shower, I broke into someone's house and stole soap and shampoo (try explaining that to the cops!), and I had found someone's wallet, so I had...AIR CONDITIONING....oh, blessed AIR CONDITIONING....I still don't have it in my car...but, I HAVE a car now!!! No gas, and no radio...but, I sing show tunes at the top of my lungs...while sitting in my driveway...(did you notice I HAVE A DRIVEWAY?) No house mind you...just a driveway....Oh, the simple joys of being poor... Or, when they turn the WATER back on... in the heat of the summer and you take your first DRINK of the rancid stuff they call tap water....ohhhhhh....it's heaven! You literally gain weight as your cells re-hydrate...I remember,in November of 2007, I went on a date, and the lady took me to her house and fed me STEAK SALAD...and gave me a glass of WINE! OMG! I still remember that meal...nearly two years later...Ah, the simple joys of being poor... You Rich People...you should try being Painfully Poor for a couple of years...it would completely change your perspective on what THE GOOD LIFE is...for the rest of your life...it makes you appreciate what is REALLY important!! So, the next time you pass a poor wretch on the street, tip your hat...(assuming you have one), because they know how to enjoy the SIMPLE JOYS of being poor...